it is me. i had just spent my afternoon observing two groups of adults with slightly differing 'social statuses'. how do i know that? what do i even know about 'social standings' at a mere age of sixteen? maybe the ways of the 'grown up world' puzzle me now, but i know what i saw this afternoon. i saw haughtiness in the eyes of one group, & in that haughtiness, a reflection of hypocrisy from both groups. is such condescension necessary? why do some people try so hard to draw such 'lines'; try so hard to highlight their superiority; try so hard to exercise their 'rights to be unappreciative'? what is the point in all of these? to show that they are better? to get what they think they 'deserve' (though i feel like no one rightfully deserves anything more than condemnation)? or is there no point at all? are some people naturally like that? maybe they always had it all, maybe it is a grown-up thing that sixteen-year-olds fail to fathom. how are things like in your year? what about hypocrisy? is it blooming in you now? as i have mentioned, i caught glimpses of hypocrisy in the bulk of the previous generation today, & feel thoroughly disturbed, yet i feel like hypocrisy is obligatory. is it true? surely there has got to be another way; surely i need not conform to the shrewd ways of this torn world; surely i have a saviour in me; surely i have been called not to be of this world. do you still feel this way? have you changed? i am sure you have, but i hope it is not for the very thing you hate. mostly, i hope you remember today, & how shameful it is to be of the world; superficial, hypocritical, lost. i hope you have not sold your soul to the open road. remember, even if it meant gaining the whole world, guard your soul; protect your heart - it is the wellspring of life
love,
sixteen-going-on-seventeen-year-old joy
~
“There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense.”
— Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen
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