there once was

I had everything I ever wanted to say to you
organized in my head but forgot it all when
you took my palm in your hand and with your index finger wrote
“disaster.” If you were to ask me how I ended up here,
I don’t even know. Every night at 8:25 I can’t believe
it’s already 8:25 and I’m so happy it’s only 8:25. Sometimes
I find tragedy reassuring. Sometimes the cat licks my neck. I
don’t want to think about where I’ve been or
where I’m going anymore. Sometimes I just want to cry. Sometimes
I just want to sit in a quiet space. It’s within me to
rip my own head off. Let me tell you about the city. It’s a city of
lavender. I can’t remember its name. There aren’t enough
bank holidays. Someday you’ll read this and
understand what type of person I am.

  City of Lavender by Jason Bredle