there once was

hello

the first and last time we spoke was in september of 2012. we were strangers and it was 100 days to christmas. you said that perhaps we could meet in 100 days' time. i said yes, perhaps on the street, in the corner of our eyes, that is where we will meet. you said that perhaps you could bring me your favourite book. you asked what we were -- friends, strangers, something special. familiar strangers, i suggested. that was something special. i did not want to be friends, i said, because you might not be friends forever with someone, but you could always be strangers with someone. you let me listen to one of your favourite songs. mrs. destiny. was that me? was that us? you asked if i thought we would really meet in 100 days or if we would drift apart like everyone else. i told you i surely do not hope for the latter and it seemed like you felt the same way.

i do not remember the exact date you left and never came back like you said you would - or perhaps you did, but i will never know; i have lost the password to that email account and our conversations over text. but why did you leave and not come back in time for christmas? what made you leave? mrs. destiny. almost like an elaborately planned joke, the one song we shared tells of how a man and woman meet online and arrange to meet up in real life but it never happened. she waited in the pub, he saw her from afar and then left.

mrs. destiny. was that me?

why did you disappear? i just want to know, for closure. it has been six years and i keep wondering though i have stopped loving a long time ago.