there once was

I thought I understood it, that I could grasp it, but I didn't, not really. Only the smudgeness of it; the pink-slippered, all-containered, semi-precious eagerness of it. I didn't realize it would sometimes be more than whole, that the wholeness was a rather luxurious idea. Because it's the halves that halve you in half. I didn't know, don't know, about the in-between bits; the gory bits of you, and the gory bits of me.

sometimes the creature under my skin taunts me; tells me to run back to the grave and gather the ashes. this creature under my skin – it is me, the self

this song always takes me back to the rawest of state. the smell of blood fresh under my breath